i got my review back from dead god...

i'm not upset about it, i just thought from scion's review site i would have actually gotten a review that actually looked at me, instead of being put off by superficial things. i just feel cheated because i expected more, that's really all it is to it, i could care less about the score, i just want someone to actually understand what i'm shooting at instead of going "you shouldn't take drugs, they're bad for you", and i thought i'd actually get that there from looking at the other reviews on the site. that's all i'll say about it, dead issue now.

i'm still on my huge david bowie kick from watching zoolander... in fact, i think it's worsened (or bettered depending on how you look at it). i'm going apeshit downlaoding stuff. i've gotten station to station, ziggy stardust, diamond dogs, scary monsters, aladdin sane, let's dance, hunky dory, heroes, and i'm working on heathen and the man who sold the world... david bowie really has a thing for H titles of albums. heathen, hunky dory, hours, heroes, halibut harry hucks herring halfway here. it's just kinda a strange idea if you ask me.

i fucking hate when it's raining and i have to go outside in it. i appreciate the rain and all, there's something sort of cleansing about rain in the city, but i still hate having to be out in it. this pretty much stems from my strong dislike of being wet in my clothing, this is why i don't really like water rides outside of hot summer days (except splash mountain, you gotta love the splash mountain). many people find the rain inspiring, i've tried to find the rain inspiring, but i've never been able to write something good about the rain. i guess it's just a curse i have placed over me... other people can jot down swill about falling droplets of condensation and all that they entail, yet i can't seem to muster up anything worth my own opinion about the stuff. not like my opinion is worth much, oh wait, yes it is, because i'm a fucking god among ants.

don't take that like i have a superiority complexe, i actually have an inferiority complex, and that means that human life is inferior to everythign else on this planet. .. i hate when people think i'm a supremist, i'm not, i just think everyone's shit, myself included, why can't anyone else get it through their thick skulls that human life is what's killing this earth and killing ourselves as a group of people. death is inevitable for all things, on a long enough time line, the survival rate for anything drops to zero, but why are human beings so fucking selfish that we have to take everythign with us? god people are such fucking bastards... as in the bastards of god. it makes me wonder if he even wanted us in the first place if he knew we were all going to be in the sensless funk that we're wallowing in now as a society.

you know what amazes me to no end... that people are still going on and on and on about the superbowl bullshit... quick question, how long ago was the superbowl?... exactly! why the fuck do people still care? why does anyone still give a shit that janet jackson's nipple sheild got some play on TV? it's not like you could see anything outside of black skin and metal, so what's the problem? a little kid can watch fucking cinemax while their parents are asleep, and why the fuck is some little kid watching the superbowl anyways? i know i never once wanted to watch it... i was just there for the chips and dip. fucking people and their pseudo-morals, your husband's probably jerking off to some japanese 10 year old eating goat shit while you're fucking your neighbor in the ass with a pink vibrator, and you're worried about your kid seeing a piece of metal jutting out of a jackson's breast? i bet your husband would have jacked off to that if it wasn't too soft core for him. fuck america dude, we're so full of shit and so diluted mentally as a nation with all of these dumb fucks allowed to breed and have opinions... why do all the wrong people have the loudest voice,a nd why do people let these asshole walk all over them just so they can make some more money.

FUCK YOU GUYS!

all the fucking execs at CBS probably have mistresses and asian massage therapists to jerk them off that they have to pay top dollar to keep happy and have, that's why they get pissed if their stock dips a 1/6th of a point. fuck corporate america and its money grubbing penny pinching shitty quality releasing self. white america should hang itself by its own neckties while being jabbed with red hot spears and pokers, i would love to just be allowed to take all my frustration out on these fucks.

did i have something else to talk about before i got on that subject? who gives a fuck... you know why? because i'm a "topic skipper" sorry if i have more than one thing to say per post folks.. you're just going to have to deal with it... and sorry for the years of shitty typing and lack of capitalization, i didn't know that you couldn't figure out a word at the beginning of a sentance if it wasn't in uppercase... oh and i'm also sorry for the extensive talk about things that no one but myself cares about... since i'm trying so hard to please my target audience................. you know, myself.

if other people fel the need to read my diary and enjoy it, more power to you, because my message is getting spread across the world, and hopefully it inspires someone to take a look at the world around you and say "hey, this shit aint right". outside of exercising my own personal frustrations out in a form that i find most expressive to myself, and also speaking of my triumphs, joys, elations, depressions, and all those other emotions people can express... i'm hoping that others can relate, and possibly start a personal revolution in themselves... i am by no means a predominantly angry person, i've stated numerous times that i'm very happy and quite zenlike, i'm just very prone to going off about things i don't feel are proper in the world that i see. everyone has their own world view, no one has equal vision, no two people appreciate a work of art the same way, so why am i forced to be filtered into someone elses outlook on life? why do i have to fit into your cookie cutter? why do i have to be sucked into the pit that you built for yourself when i want absolutly zero to do with you?

why do i have to be your model employee? why do i have to be your perfect son? why do i have to be a model citizen? why do i have to be things that are outside of my range of acceptance? you can't cram me into a smaller box than i can fit, i can't be you and i can't fix your fucking mistakes.

it's much like my grandmother used to tell me... fuck em if they can't take a joke, then break their fucking window. - banky edwards

i'm sorry, am i being too negative again? would you like me to stop? would you like me to talk about everything you would?

fuck you then

-excelsior-