i really really hate people with nothing better to do online than start flame wars with people. seriously, with all the fantastic amount of free pictures of japanese 18 year olds getting fucked by 3 guys at once, you'd think that someone would have something better to do than go "j00 ar3 teh suxorz cuz 1 am s0 l337 f00l hahahaha all your fragz are belong to me".

here's a little equation i try using to help me understand why people are even bigger shitcocks online than in person. let the following letters represent the certain actions and traits i will list now.

a = anoniminity
d = dates
m = body mass
p = pop culture knowledge
b = learned/ book knowledge
l = life experience
h = indipendant living (not living at parents home)
f = public forum
s = social skills
n = nerd factor
so our formula would read like this

mm - (h + s)= -d
p + b - l = n
(-d + n) + (a + p) = total shitcock.

so if you add body mass to the second power, to negative social skills and a lack of living outside your parents house, you are given the answer of no dates achieved. and if you add a combination of pop culture knowledge in movies/ music/ videogames/ or books, and add it to book learned knowledge, then subtract life skills. you are given the eqation for nerdiness (not the cool geekiness which would be the inclusion of life experience). now add nerdiness to lack of dating to a chance to be anonymous of a public forum, and you have the total that equals to your basic internet asshole.

simple enough to you? i thought it was. feel free to link that equation on any message board where some jack ass starts going off about how much better the wrath of khan is when compared to reading some great novel and can't seem to cover their ass with anything beyond "spock sacraficing himself for the greater good". or something along those lines.

the reason why this is bugging me so much lately is that i've been going around on the allakhazam final fantasy XI board to get some hints and tips on how i can maximize my effectivness in a party situation and become a better player (on the off chance when i do get to play thank you very much kathryn bailey) and all i keep coming across are flamewars with morons going "oh you suck if you don't play with this race for this job and you need this sub job and this equipment and if you don't no one will want you in their party and you have to do it this way because i'm the greatest thing ever even though i hav eno job and all i do is play final fantasy Xi all day long."

i'm just glad it's better than most other message boards where their response is more akin to "well i have better things to do than play all the time like you, at least i'm getting laid mother fucker!" and to note, that these responses are a lot poorer in the spelling and grammar dept. than even i can muster.

yeah thanks for making the internet so easy to use AOL, no wonder there's so many fucking morons on it. and how exactly do these dumbasses get laid? and why do any of these people have to be playing the same game as me? it's so fucking unfair. with the sheer amount of idiots i run into on a daily basis in game and reading their posts on the board, seriously how do these people even figure out a computer, or have the reding comprehension to figure out the instruction manual? it seems a little unfair that these motards are even allowed to breathe, let alone have some dumb bitch be stupid enough to let them stick their penis inside them. UGH! and it's always the men that are so fucking dumb... it's rare when a woman is that stupid (but when they are they really let that shit shine.)

either way in this world i'm going to be plauged by idiots, and of course they're going to coagulate on the internet... especially since, yes, it is a public place that has given everyone a voice (sadly) and most of those people's voices have been used to bitch about everything ever created be it if they love or hate it.

i'm going to begin looking for a crack team of hackers to help me destroy the entire internet... anyone wanna sign up with me? we'll free the world fromt he shackles of idiocy! then when i rise to power the mouth shootings can commence... WHO'S WITH ME!?!?!?!?!

-excelsior-