okay people. i hate disclaimers, so this isn't a disclaimer. this is me laying it out to you flat out no holds barred and straight to the bone on how you should be looking at my diary. and if you can't comprehend this, go slit your throat and bleed all over your mother's pantie drawer, you don't deserve my planets oxygen anymore.

- no, i'm not really a violent person. i don't go out hurting people. sure i want people to get hurt for being stupid. because really, if stupidity was painful, it'd cause more people to strive for wisdom and knowledge.

- i may be american, but no i don't want to take over the world for reals. i wish people would understand my ideals and put the good ones into action (not the unethical ones like mouth shooting random assholes, even though i should be allowed to do that)

- i'm not a terrorist supporter, but i dislike my country, i think it's being handled very poorly. it's been handled very poorly since washington died.

- i am a nhilist, not an anarchist, not a national socialist (if you don't know what that means, maybe you should stop talking to all your friends in history class and fucking pay attention)

- if you have a problem with my language, you're setting yourself up for dissapointment and hypocrasy. everyone curses when they get angry, i just get more angry than you. but you have to admit, i make profanity interesting. and the next person who says sound stupid because of it, maybe it's because you're an ignorant tardfuck that can't count past 10 without taking off your shoes.

- my username isn't saying i'm a punk or a loser. it comes from a little band of sorts called nailbomb. who is nailbomb? let me tell you a little story about 2 guys named max cavalera and alex new port. now you may or may not know these 2 from their more well known projects and bands such as Sepultura and Fudge Tunnel respectivly. they felt that in the mid 90's (1994-1995) the underground hardcore music scene had gone a little too soft with the explosion of grunge and "alternative" music which had most of it's roots founded in the punk/ hardcore scenes of the late 70's and early 80's. max and alex decided to make a statement and make the most raw, unrelenting and uncommercial "punk" album they could, and what they came up with was nailbomb's first album point blank. it was a perfect combination between the thrash metal of their regular bands and other peers in the scene of the time (such as slayer and pantera) and more metallic really pissed off hardcore like the likes of the exploited and discharge. on their album they covered a song from the band DOOM (who i personally have never heard) and at the end max breathes into the microphone the words that would become emblazoned on nailbomb's only t-shirt (which is near impossible to find outside of the internet, and even on the internet) and be their main slogan (the secondary one being 1,000,000% hate) "feels good to be a punk loser". 2 years ago when i started my diary, nailbomb was pretty much the main thing in my CD player, and i thought it was kinda funny for me to have a username like that. i didn't have a widely accepted nickname like i do now, so i figured it'd do. i didn't really think it'd be a topic of discussion to be read into constantly with people going "oh wow, you're so punk aren't you punky mcpunkerton?" my answer is no i'm not. if i wanted to be a punk then i'd be wearing stupid clothes playing "dress me up spikey", yelling oi to everyone that passed me by and trying to debate with everyone what the true meaning of punk is despite the conversation at hand. now i've had a mohawk (briefly), i listen to a lot of 1st gen and pre-gen punk bands, and when i hear the word dischord i instantly think ian mckaye, but i am by no means this "punk rock kid" people seem to have the impression of when they see my username. so guess what, get the fuck over it, and get the fuck over your jaded sarcastic bullshit on a topic that shouldn't matter but it appears that it does.

- if you have a problem with my lack of grammatical conventions, desire to spell check when i jumble up words, my abuse of the elipsis, and numerous run-on sentances (like this one), i have some reasons why.
a)i'm lazy
b)i'm often caught up in a heated fury and could care less where my fingers fall
c)i'm not going to edit myself and polish it up. i'm raw, abrasive and unaccessable... i like my first take magic.

- please leave me guestbook messages over notes. if you insult me or disagree with me, leave me your web address or e-mail address (i don't normally send e-mails so you're safe here) so i can tell you why you're wrong and should hang yourself with razorwire. if you like me, do the same so i can send you lots of love

- i'm normally a very good natured and happy person. but i don't need to get warm fuzzy feelings out of my system, i need to spill vile and pestulant hatred out of me to keep those warm fuzzies. so don't think i'm this angst ridden adult who never got over being 16. i'm much cooler now than i was in high school.

- if i alienate you and you take me off your favorites list, all i have to say is. GOOD! i don't know why i'm so fucking popular anyway.

- i like taking psychadelic drugs every now and then. nothing lame like speed or too hardcore like heroin. just shrooms weed and ecstasy. acid would be nice if i could get any. if you wanna tell me that drugs are a no-no, here's a little something for you.
1)i don't make drugs a priority in my life. i like using them, but i don't need to take them
2)there's a lot of psychological and spiritual benefits to taking these things. i've become more at peace with who i am and the world around me thanks to taking drugs. you don't get that with tweek.
3)if you think drugs are so bad, listen to shitty straight edge music and stop listening to all the great music that's enriched and enhanced all our lives through the decades. bill hicks said it best "if you don't think drugs have done good things for us i want you to go home and take all your tapes, all your cd's all your albums and burn em. because all those musicians who wrte those songs that have enhanced our lives, where really fucking high on drugs."

that's it. if something someone does pisses me off again i'll put that up, until then i want some chinese food.

-excelsior-