music of the now... ben folds 5 and dashboard confessional.. why? cos i had a dream that really pissed me off and depressed me

my first dream was awesome... it was me and tina.. together and we jsut come home to everyone having a party and we retreat to my room and we make love several times.... after the 5th climax i wake up... at 9:30 and for a shock i don't have to change my sheets....

since it was so early and i don't wanna get awake already... so here i am going back to sleep... it's raining outside and i come into my room.... i have loads of animals in there.. i can't remember what i named them... but i don't want a lot of them.... but i have a bunch of animals.. i have a giant snail that keeps making more snails... we have 2 rats 2 cats a dog a pig a guinie pig some animal that looks like it belongs in a dr. suess book.... and a few others that escape me right now.... so here i am with all these animals adn i'm trying to keep em in my room but they race all around the house... oh and i had a frog... but then liz comes home.... and there's a party... and we're in a castle... her ex geoff and her current fiance devlin is in there ut they're not with us.... we screw around and we switch bodies..... to experience life as the opposite sex... i feel like she loves me again... i play with her body... damn having a snatch feels good.... and i go to the room where she is.. and we're gonna have sex like this... but she's in a room with someone else i've never seen and they talk to each other and everyone else starts coming in... they see she's me and they talk to her like she's still in her body.... we go back to my rooma and she starts claiming ownership over all the animals.... just like she would in real life... and she becomes herself again.. teh liz i found out really exists... and we have soup to change us back to ourselves.. i realize that we're not gonna get to be with each otehr and i wake up to me drinking the soup to become myself again..... twisted and perverted maybe but it was kinda a odd very odd description of our relationship..... and you still owe me 2,135 dollars bitch

your hair is everywhere screaming infidelities screaming infidelities

6 am/ day after christmas/ i throw some clothes on in the dark/ smel of cold/ car seat is freezing/ the world's asleep and i am/ numb/

up the stairs to her apartment/ she is balled up on the couch/ her mom and dad/ went down to charlotte/ they're not home to find us out/ and we ride/ now that i've found someone/ i'm feeling more alone/ than i ever have before

she's the brick and i'm drowning slowly/ off the coast and i'm heading nowhere/ she's the brick and i'm drowning slowly

they call her name/ at 7:30/ i pace around the parking lot/ then i walk down to buy her flowers/ and sell some gifts that i got/ can't you see/ it's not me your dying for/ now she's feeling more alone/ than she ever has before

she's the brick and i'm drowning slowly/ off the coast and i'm heading nowhere/ she's the brick and i'm drowning slowly

as weeks went by it showed that she was not fine/ they told me son it's time to tell the truth and/ she broke down/ and i broke down/ cos i was tired/ of lying

driving back/ to her apartment/ and for a moment we're alone/ she's alone/ and i'm alone/ now i know it

she's the brick and i'm drowning slowly/ off the coast and i'm heading nowhere/ she's the brick and i'm drowning slowly..............

soundtrack of today

ben folds 5- brick, song for the dumped, selfless cold and composed

dashboard confessional- screaming infidelities, living in your letters, turpentine chaser

smashing pumpkins- crestfallen, shame, blue skies bring tears, crying tree of mercury, stumbiline, spaceboy, obscurred..

jack off jill- swollen, vivica, strawberry gashes, angels fuck, everything's brown, surgery, clear hearts gray flowers

weezer- the world has turned and left me here, say it aint so

nine inch nails- sanctified, something i can never have, hurt, the downward spiral, help me i am in hell, a warm place, the great below, even deeper, i'm looking forward to joining you finally, 10 miles high

fear factory- timelessness, damaged, memory implants (never end)

yeah.... listen to a few of those songs and you'll see how i feel today.... liz i fucking hate you you destroyed a part of my soul that can never be fixed... i'll always wake up and cry about how much i've been damaged by you..... you fucking ruined me.... you destroyed every last segmant of trust i can ever have in someone.... i fucking hate you.....i'm not saying you didn't get something taken from you either..... but i can't help but say you had it coming.... stupid fucking cunt.. i hate you forever....... die.......

excelsior